Behind every screen is a child, teenager, or young adult trying to figure out who they are.

They may be laughing in a video, posting pictures with friends, collecting likes, or appearing completely confident online. But what we see on the screen may tell only a small part of the story.

Sometimes, behind the perfect post is a young person who feels lonely.

Behind the selfie is someone questioning their appearance.

Behind the constant scrolling is someone afraid of being left out.

And behind the search for likes may be someone quietly asking, “Am I enough?”

This is one of the reasons I wrote The Love of Likes.

When Likes Start to Feel Like Worth

Social media can be a wonderful tool for connection, creativity, learning, and self-expression. But problems can arise when young people begin using online reactions to determine how they feel about themselves.

A post receives hundreds of likes, and they feel confident.

Another post receives very little attention, and suddenly they wonder what is wrong with them.

A cruel comment can change their entire day.

Being excluded from a group chat can feel like rejection.

Seeing friends together without being invited can create feelings of loneliness and FOMO—Fear of Missing Out.

The Love of Likes explores how these experiences can affect self-esteem and emotional well-being. The book reminds young readers that their value cannot be measured by followers, comments, views, or likes. 

Children Are Comparing Their Real Lives to Highlight Reels

One of the biggest challenges of social media is comparison.

Young people are constantly exposed to carefully selected images of other people’s lives—beautiful vacations, perfect outfits, friendships, celebrations, achievements, and seemingly endless happiness.

But they rarely see what happened before or after the picture was taken.

They don’t see the argument.

They don’t see the tears.

They don’t see the insecurity.

They don’t see the difficult day.

They see the highlight reel.

As The Love of Likes explains, comparing your everyday life to someone else’s carefully selected moments can leave you feeling as though you’re falling behind. 

And children shouldn’t have to grow up believing that everyone else is living a better life than they are.

Cyberbullying Can Leave Invisible Wounds

Not every injury is visible.

A cruel comment, humiliating photograph, hateful message, or public rejection can leave emotional wounds that aren’t easily seen by parents, teachers, or friends.

A young person may say:

“I’m fine.”

But they’re not fine.

They may withdraw from family.

Stop enjoying activities they once loved.

Become increasingly anxious about their appearance or popularity.

Or begin believing the negative things being said about them.

The book encourages young people to protect their peace by using tools such as blocking, muting, reporting abusive behavior, leaving unhealthy group chats, and taking breaks from social media. It also emphasizes that asking a trusted adult or mental-health professional for help is an act of courage—not weakness. 

Parents Don’t Need to Understand Every App

Parents and caregivers sometimes feel like they’re trying to enter a world they didn’t grow up in.

DMs.

Group chats.

Followers.

Stories.

Algorithms.

Trends.

Anonymous accounts.

Parents may not understand every platform, but they don’t have to.

They need to understand their child.

Instead of immediately saying:

“Get off that phone!”

Try asking:

• “How does social media make you feel?”
• “Have you ever felt left out because of something you saw online?”
• “Do you ever compare yourself to people you follow?”
• “Has anyone ever said something online that really hurt you?”
• “Do you feel pressure to look or act a certain way online?”
• “What do you wish adults understood about social media?”

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can give a young person isn’t another rule.

It’s a safe place to talk.

We Need to Teach Children That Their Identity Exists Beyond the Screen

A social-media profile is only a snapshot.

It doesn’t show a child’s kindness.

It doesn’t show their courage.

It doesn’t show their dreams.

It doesn’t show the way they help someone who is struggling.

It doesn’t show who they are when nobody is watching.

And it certainly doesn’t determine their worth.

One of the central messages of The Love of Likes is simple:

You are more than what you post.

The book’s healing journal reinforces this through prompts such as “Who am I outside of social media?” and “What makes me valuable that has nothing to do with likes?”

Those are questions every young person deserves the opportunity to answer.

This Book Was Written to Start Conversations

The Love of Likes isn’t about telling teenagers to throw away their phones or pretend social media doesn’t exist.

They live in a digital world.

The goal is to help them understand that world without allowing it to define them.

The book was intentionally created for teens, parents, educators, counselors, and caring adults. It provides real stories, reflection questions, practical guidance, and tools for discussing bullying, self-esteem, boundaries, comparison, and emotional wellness. 

It is a book to read together, discuss together, and use as a starting point for honest conversations.

Healing Doesn’t End When the Book Closes

The journey continues beyond the final page.

The Love of Likes includes a 90-Day Healing Companion and Social Media Healing Journal, giving young readers opportunities to recognize their triggers, understand their thoughts, identify what they need, and practice healthier responses. 

And for continued support, the Hear to Heal app provides a private, guided space where young people can continue processing emotions, journaling, and practicing the tools introduced throughout the book. 

Because healing shouldn’t be something we talk about only after a crisis.

It should be part of the conversation from the beginning.

Look Beyond the Screen

Our children don’t need us to fear technology.

They need us to help them understand it.

They need adults who will notice when the smile disappears.

They need someone who will ask the second question after “I’m fine.”

They need permission to step away from the screen without feeling like they’re missing their entire world.

And most importantly, they need to know:

Their worth was never created by social media—and social media cannot take it away.

If a young person in your life is struggling with comparison, cyberbullying, social pressure, low self-esteem, or the constant need for online approval, don’t ignore the signs.

Start the conversation.

Listen without judgment.

Put the phone down and look them in the eyes.

Sometimes healing begins with something as simple as being willing to hear what they have been afraid to say.

The Love of Likes by Cheurlie Pierre-Russell

A book about identity, validation, and breaking free.

Because we stopped living for moments—and started living for approval.

It’s time to remember how to live again.

📖 Read The Love of Likes
💙 Continue the journey with Hear to Heal
🌱 Choose peace over pressure.

Your worth is bigger than a screen.