Why does the word ‘fail’ get looked at as a bad thing? Why do so many people feel it’s detrimental for a child to fail at something? It boils down to failing is a simple life experience. Making mistakes is part of life. However, how we handle situations in which we realize we’re wrong says volumes about what kind of person we are. It takes high levels of honesty, integrity, and courage—especially in the public sector—to admit you’re wrong.

Admitting when you’re wrong builds trust and shows integrity. When children realize they’ve made a mistake, they feel embarrassed. To change this notion, parents need to switchgear. Parents tend to see their mission as helping their kids succeed. But there’s a growing realization among teachers and other professionals who work with children that kids increasingly need help learning how to fail. While the idea of failing can seem scary, it helps students develop learning skills, boost their sense of determination, and build self-esteem. Failure is an opportunity to grow. Would you agree that failing a class/subject and understanding the acceptance of integrity will help enhance one’s intellect more? Children who understand it’s ok to fail a class seemingly learn it is alright to try harder. Letting children learn from their mistakes helps build resilience and is essential to raising a confident, capable, happy, and successful adult. When children are given the opportunity to struggle and sometimes fail, you allow them to develop important social and emotional skills. Trying harder motivates them to learn new activities because they won’t feel like they have so much pressure on them. Natural consequences help kids to become more independent and self-assured. “They help children to assume responsibility and to learn about how they can control outcomes through their own actions,” explains Dr. Fulton. Once children understand failure is ok, it helps them solve problems and understand natural consequences. In my book The Better Betty, Betty continuously made terrible decisions in life, was rebellious, and was totally out of control. A quote mention from the book.” Betty was scared, but she was also excited. This quote was her chance to put everything right between them.” It was not until she understood that failing was acceptable that helped shifted her mindset toward making progress. Grab your copy to find out what helped Betty change to understand her mistakes were part of her growth.

Not learning to tolerate failure leaves kids vulnerable to anxiety, leading to meltdowns when the inevitable loss occurs, whether in preschool or college. And perhaps even more important, it can make kids give up trying—or trying new things. 

15 Published Children & Teen Books. 100 + Motivated Parents & Children. 5 + Author Seminars. 3 Literacy Week Appearances. 4 Book Signings. 2 Appearances at Walk A Mile in My Shoes Fair at Miami Dade College (North Campus). Over 100+ Book Donations to Several Military Base Libraries worldwide.

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